~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Trials of the Heart ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Carrie shivered and pulled her cloak tighter around herself. Snow blasted her in the face, making her eyes water from the cold. Her nose, hands and feet were numb; she didn't have enough money to afford warm shoes and gloves. It was Sunday, and most of the village was at church. Carrie went alone, since Malus was an atheist and refused to attend with her. She often thought he did many strange things. He hardly ever went outside, except on rare occasions. He only ate once a day, usually at noon, and he refused to go to the graveyard to visit his parent's grave. They had been married several months earlier. At first, Carrie had said that she wanted to wait a few years until they were a bit older, but Malus had insisted on marrying earlier. She had hesitantly agreed, and the ritual had been performed. She couldn't say that their marriage was a happy one, but it wasn't terrible either. They got along fairly well, with only an argument here and there. However, she often didn't feel comfortable around him. His skin and breath were always cold, and she sometimes caught him looking at her strangely. She sighed and stopped outside the door to the church. She could hear the organ being played within. She was later again, and she didn't want to disrupt the congregation. Besides... she didn't really like church anyway. So she skipped it. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Carrie quietly closed the door when she got home. She didn't hear any sounds coming from the interior of the house. The fire was still roaring in the fireplace, the way she had left it when she had gone out earlier. She crept to her bedroom, careful not to step on any creaky floorboards. She pushed the door open and looked in. Malus was curled up under the covers, as though hiding from the sunlight that spilled through the windows. Carrie frowned. That was another thing she found odd. Malus always seemed to shun the sunlight. She shrugged and pushed the thought from her mind. She certainly didn't love Malus (at least she thought she didn't), but she would never think badly of him. He was always kind to her. She tiptoed over and sat down on the bed next to him, smoothing back his mauve hair from his forehead. His eyelids fluttered at her touch, and slowly opened. He blinked up at her. "Good morning,"Carrie murmured."Were you planning to sleep all day?" "No,"Malus yawned, sitting up and stretching."It's still early." Carrie frowned as she handed him his shirt."It's noon, Malus. That's late." "Is it?" He pulled his shirt over his frail 15-year old body and slid out of bed. Carrie picked up his nightshirt and started to fold it. "What do you want for breakfast?"she asked stiffly. Malus grimaced."Nothing, thank you. I'm not very hungry." "You're never very hungry..."Carrie sighed."I begin to worry about you sometimes..." Malus crouched down beside her and took her hand in his. Carrie shivered at the icy feel of his touch, but resisted pulling away. She didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I get plenty to eat... And besides, I'm not dead yet, am I?"he lied. "No,"Carrie murmured, gently pulling her hand out of his."Why did you ask me to marry you?" Malus looked startled. The look on his face made Carrie's heart sink. "Well..."he started."Because I think you're very beautiful, and intelligent..." "I'm sure that's what you think,"Carrie said fiercely, getting to her feet so fast her chair fell over."You don't think that at all! You're a liar!" "Carrie..."Malus trailed off as she charged out of the room."...Oh well... I suppose it won't matter anymore by tonight." ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Carrie slammed the door of the house so hard, she was certain that it shook on it's foundations. Not that she really cared. She wiped the tears from her eyes, chiding herself for being so ridiculous. And there she was a moment ago, trying to convince herself that Malus didn't mean anything to her. She stopped running when she reached the graveyard. The snow was still coming down heavily, but it wasn't as cold or windy as it had been previously. She knelt before her mother's gravemarker and rested her head on the cool, smooth stone. She had given up wiping the tears away. They flowed freely down her cheeks, splattering onto her cloak and skirt. "Oh, mother..."she weeped."Whatever is wrong with me? Why am I crying over a man? Over -Malus-?! I just don't understand myself anymore... Why did I marry him? I know he doesn't love me. He wants something... I'm not sure what, though. It can't possibly be sex. We've been married for six months, and it still hasn't been consummated..." She stopped talking and pulled her hood over her head. Her ears were frozen again, along with her feet. her hands were warm, though... she had taken Malus' gloves this time. She looked down at the gloves she wore. She could tell that they were very old. The stitches along the sides were coming undone, and some of the stuffing had fallen out of them. But they were warm. She looked back up."I shouldn't have married him. It was all a mistake, and now I can't take it back... I'm so sorry, mother. I'm a disgrace... How did I ever get stuck like this...?" She stopped talking, as though expecting her mother to say something. But of course, there was no answer. she would have to find it herself. "...I know exactly why I married him,"she said softly."How come I never realized it before? Perhaps it was because I wanted him. I wanted him to want me back. I wanted him to need me. But that's impossible. I'm just another possession, aren't I? I'm to be discarded after I've been used to my full potential. But that's just the way life is, isn't it mother?" Another pause. "I'm sorry, mother,"Carrie said softly, shaking her head."I've rambled on for too long. I suppose I'll have to go home sometime. It's better sooner than later." She got to her feet, brushing the snow off her cloak, and started walking back toward the village. The freshly fallen snow crunched under her feet, soothing her turmoiled soul. She could see the lights in the windows of the houses in the village. Her's was the only one without light, as it had always been. Malus had some sort of obsession with the dark. Another one of his queer habits. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ It was dinnertime. Malus stirred his soup with his spoon, trying very hard not to vomit. He didn't particularly enjoy eating mortal foods, but it was necessary so that Carrie wouldn't suspect what he really was. He looked up across the table at her. She was staring at the tabletop in stony silence. She didn't seem to be eating either. "...Is something wrong?"Malus asked hesitantly. Carrie's mahogany eyes met his vermillion ones. She didn't seem to be very happy with him. "Is it me?"he asked hesitantly. "Of course it is,"Carrie said frostily."It's always you, isn't it?" "What did I do?" "You know what you did, Malus." "No..." Carrie didn't answer him. She spooned up some soup and ate it, making it clear that the conversation was over. Malus frowned and pushed his soup away. If she was going to be stubborn, he could be stubborn as well. "What are you doing?!"Carrie asked in alarm. "I'm not hungry." "But you haven't eaten all day!"she exclaimed."Are you trying to starve yourself to death?!" "It doesn't matter,"Malus shrugged."My hunger will be satiated by morning." That statement sent chills down Carrie's back. Just what was he suggesting? Malus smirked when he saw the expression on Carrie's face. She didn't have a clue what he was talking about. She thought he meant the other type of hunger. But she was dead wrong. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Carrie lay silently in bed later that night. The space normally occupied by Malus was currently empty. He had left the house right after dinner, and she hadn't seen him since. She closed her eyes and sighed. It wasn't as though she was worried or anything. She knew he could take care of himself. She was just drifting off into sleep when the springs in the bed started to creak. She didn't open her eyes; she knew that it was Malus. "...Carrie?"Malus said hesitantly. She didn't reply. She was too tired. The springs creaked again, and Malus shifted closer to her. His cold breath on her cheek caused her to awaken fully. Her muscles tensed as he leaned closer and his lips gently touched her cheek. "Malus...?"Carrie murmured."What are you doing...?" "Shhh..."he whispered."Just relax. This will be over soon, I promise." His lips moved down to caress her jaw, then slowly back up to meet her mouth. She groaned and wrapper her arms around his neck, pulling his cold body closer against her. Malus' lips slowly trailed down her jawbone to her neck. Carrie tensed as he nibbled slightly on the flesh of her neck, teasing her. She froze suddenly when his nibbles became a bit harder. Hard enough to actually hurt. "Malus...?" Malus lifted his head out of the crook in her neck. His face was flushed. "...I can't,"he said finally."I can't do it!" "Of course you can,"Carrie murmured. "No, you don't understand,"Malus gasped."You don't know what you're dealing with here. Just... just go to sleep." Carrie's face fell."Alright..." She lay down again and turned to face the window, her back to him. She was upset with him. But it was nothing new. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ Malus sat up in bed and glanced over at Carrie. She was sleeping silently, her back still turned to him. He slipped silently out of bed and quietly got dressed. He couldn't stay in this house any longer. It was just too dangerous. He had been unable to bite Carrie earlier that evening. He couldn't fathom why. He was supposed to be a vampire... and vampire's weren't supposed to have feelings. He pulled a piece of paper out of the drawer and started writing a note. Then he left without another word. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ When Carrie awoke the next morning, she discovered that Malus was gone, and a hastily scribbled note was in it's place. She picked it up and started reading. My dearest Carrie, I know you are wondering why I am gone, but just know that this is all for the best. If you were to find out what I really am, I would not be able to bear it. I am truly sorry for leaving you like this, but it was necessary. Love always, Malus ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~ AN: Oh dear God, please don't flame me! I know that it sucks totally, pleeeaase be gentle!! This is my first Castlevania fic, so that's why it totally sucks. Anyway, let me know if I should continue this. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~